i don't know why, lately i feel like i want to love. after my hardwork getting rid of love feeling inside me, i finally seal it from my heart. but lately, i feel like, i want to trust someone, feels like i want to entrust my heart to someone. but each time i try, i realize there's something missing inside me. It's love is missing from me. when i'm with someone, i want to love the person, want to be with the person, but at a time, something strikes me, which is, "this is not the feeling.." then i back off again and again.. yeah i know you guys will say "that just not the person yet" it's not like i not agree with it, but... it just not about it... right now my heart is complicated, even the girl i want suddenly say she's now with the guy and she loves him,my feeling is nothing, no jealousy, heartache or anything. it was like "oh...yeah..." inside my heart. is it i am loosing my heart? hahaha i guess so.. well shall i start new play now? shall i rise the curtain now? shall i sing my new story now? the past play was like rarest gem but in the end turn to be just a mirage of the gem... what will it be? this new play, new story? this joker is now again changing his mask... till one day, someone brave enough and strong enough to cut through his mask and save him, free him from himself.. this joker is really tired keeping this infinite loop of story...he is really tired...time by time...he is breaking apart.....
the light...is too bringt isn't it?...
