Busy Body

Saw my friend status, i guess she got problem communicate with her boyfriend.. i guess hurm.. well if her problem is when they meeting, and both dunno what to talk about, actually it's ok i guess.. i too have that kind of problem before, i felt to ignore it since for me sometimes i like just to be with her, sit beside her and enjoy moment with her, and hear her stories. when she realize it she ask "why so quiet" so i just say, "nothing ^_^" smiling (but i have scary face when smile=,=")

well i am a listener i guess, i don't talk too much sometimes, i guess she understand me hahahah yeah try to enjoy being with that person, enjoy the moment, capture the scenery and one day u recall it and smiling. capture the smiling face of that person, be thankful u are with that person that time and try wish that the moment is eternal..

problem always appear in any relationship but don't make communication is a problem, understanding is the essence of communication..

it's not like i have right to say all this since my relationship also ended but remembering some pieces of i capture in the past still can make me smile, may be this is my love, the way i love ^_^

ps: phew... i'm getting back to be my own self again hahahaha

"hito ni yasashi ku.."

Change~

Emo, was i like that? well i don't realize it at all, till now thou...
yeah some how someone i know gave me some explode feeling, like i don't know it is hatred or frustrated. and while talking to my friend and having my meggie goreng, i realize, i was facing the same feeling before, and how differently i act toward it...

forgiveness, let it be, chill that was the way i treat it before, but now is hatred, vengeful and anger... wow, i have turn to such a person? when i walking back i realize it, i am getting fatter, emotionally unstable and lost...

yeah i told my self, it's time so straight everything up, fuck off the love blues feeling, lets build up new self or go back to better self that i was before. somehow i felt that the person i was before is a bit better than person i am now..

well, hopefully i won't forget or lost this determination to change...... good luck to me......

empty painting of skies and grey land....

My Hair IS GREYYY

Hurm this suppose to be happen last few sem when i tried to make my hair silver.... well this time i was trying to bleach my hair till it turn white but end up with yellow...

i was pissed of then i go buy the aqua silver gatsby hair bleach, and the result was.. -,-"

hahaha now i am an uncle~~

before (3-4 time hi-ex bleach)



After(1-2 times of aqua silver)

The Day After Valentine

Well who cares about valentine anyway, but somehow cold feeling reach to my heart thou...some unexplainable feeling had grabbed this heart. Keh~~ i keep listen to hide's songs and try to get the rhythm and meaning of the song blend with my heart, yes it is called listen by heart...

it's will always be like this, when your heart is empty, nothing inside it and always tend to get filled with cold night air~~ well lucky for me, listen to some music somehow make it full....

its not like i want to comment much on valentine day yesterday.. but it just like this, it is nothing at all.. that should be the words from person who don't have date ;p

"Dear my sun.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my moon.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my stars 星の嘆き聞けば
Like a wind ほんの小さな事だろう"

"Dear my sun.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my moon.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my stars Compared to the sorrows of the stars
Like a wind It's only a small thing"


"悲しみは腕広げて
君の肩を抱くだろう
優しげな振る舞いで　
君にからまる
It's a flame of sadness"

"Sadness opens up its arms
And embraces your shoulders Gently,
it entwines itself to you
It's a flame of sadness"


"Dear my mind どんな不幸にでも
Say hello 言える気持ちほしい
Dear my hurts いつも抱えていた
Like a wind 重い物捨てよう"

"Dear my mind Even to the saddest of tragedies
I want to be able to Say hello.
Dear my hurts Let's throw away
Like a wind All the heavy load that you've always been carrying"


"笑う月の蒼い光
傷をそっと閉じていくよ
It's a flame of sadness 降りそそぐ
悲しみすら　抱きよせ
Life is going on 枯れるまで　
歩いて行くだけ
It's a flame of sadness"

"The blue light of the laughing moon
gently sutures your wounds
It's a flame of sadness
Embracing even the sorrows that fall on you
Life is going on Just keep on walking till you wither
It's a flame of sadness"


"Dear my sun.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my moon.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my stars. 星の嘆き聞けば
Like a wind. ほんの小さな事だろう"

"Dear my sun.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my moon.
Should I know how low & low?
Dear my stars Compared to the sorrows of the stars
Like a wind It's only a small thing"


"降る星を数え終えたら　泣くのやめて歩いて行こう"

"When you've finished counting all the shooting stars Stop crying and start walking"

"Flame of misery 愛しさを憎しみを受け止めて
It's a flame of sadness 腕の中で砕いてしまえ　全て
Pieces of sadness 降りそそぐ雨がやんだら行こう
Life is going on 枯れるまで歩いて行くだけ
Stay free my misery
...my misery"

"Flame of misery
Talking on all the love, the hate It's aflame of sadness
Break them all in your arms Pieces of sadness
Let's go when it stops raining Life is going on
Just keep on walking till you wither Stay free my misery ... my misery


i really like this song, translate some to english~~ ^_^ nice song actually......

yeah i juzz awake~~

The Me

I do some recap on my past writing, it's totally different person of the me now and the me back there. The me back there was not as corrupt and evil as the me now... i'm evil.... hahaha evil=live rite?

well i found lot of thing shall i say realize lot of forgotten space in my past life? hurm it's not like i don't want talk here, well it's too long to explain....

actually i want to sent some word for someone, if the person shall open this page, and the person shall read this, and the person shall remember, well i just giving back the word to the person, yeah the person was right, i changed... i am no more person that the person was knew... i am sorry for that..... treat this as final parting gift

"At the sky, your exist is because the heart of the earth....
knowing you is because of love...
but this world always changing..
nobody know the future....
just hope you always remember this relationship"

And i shall continue my journey, till i reach for my answer. Thanks for everything.. you may hate me but this is me, i am like wind, i will always go freely as my will....for at least that what i think i am now....

the me... i wonder how will it be.. the tomorrow me......

Demmit!! i AM GETTING FATTER!!!

Sushi Madness

Ok where shall i start? hurm i guess today i wake up and then got some idea to make sushi.....
Rushing to OU, i bought ingredients but somehow feeling a bit down since i could not find all ingredients and the most crucial thing is i cannot get the correct vinegar, i have to buy mixed.. actually i prefer another type which i consider pure and non-alcoholic.. yeah mixed don't have alcohol too but the mixture is not nice... i have no other choice but to try...

reach back to my room, set all thing up and begin making sushi, yeah i making it too much till when i'm done i don't know who's gonna eat all of this!!!! limited stuff so i make two or three type of sushi, handroll and forget what the other type is called.. but at the end gave it to a friend willing to finish them all, hahaha.. it's happen all the time thou, i make sushi and make a lot and suddenly gave it to my friends... i don't know what make me do that, just suddenly feels like want to make sushi~~

hurm the sushi this time not nice coz quality of the ingredients~~ so~~~ SAD~~~~~


back to origin, i used to join class teaching people to make japanese food back in melaka.. i don't know suddenly intrested in japanese food. while teach along my other friend in the class, i enjoy looking girls making or learning to cook and if they came with their boyfriend to the class, i enjoy wacthin' they cook and in the end gave to their boyfriend to eat, and they ate what their boyfriend cook. their smile somehow make me happy, hahaha and if they came alone, when they bring the food back to their boyfriend, the smile on their face, hohoho somehow makes me feels like mr cupid, praying for lovers happiness~~

well i used to have my own philosophy on cooking, which is to make food that can bring happiness and cures people heart. or at least food that can bring people together to share smiles.... but to make that kind of food isn't that easy, it requires pure heart, like u cooking with clean heart, not to show off, not to be the best, but to cook for someone for that people thankfull for the food till tears came to their eyes~~

well surely i might not be able to reach that level, but at least my current cooking can heal my heart, yeah i did cook when i am feeling down.. it calmn my mind sometimes...

wow i blabbering too much about cooking today, hahaha well thanks to read this~~

The ingredients

Limited ingredients huhuhu

When they done

Ok ready to eat
(I really cannot finish this alone)

Rolling~~
(I did it while listen to the song ^_^)

CAT LOVER NEEDED

Well anyone would like to have cat for pet? here lots of cute kitten available at this blog. they are cute, innocent and they are cat!!!

stray cats saved from nature's and cats donated from owner that moving out or moving to another world, and all on these cat have their own story, through this hardship of life...

lets share this life with them, they need you.........

SAVE THE CATS!!!

Fear

I was chatting with someone, then when finished i lay on my bed for my nap, suddenly it came across my mind, fear... my fear to start new relationship. I've encounter this few times before, when i met girls and want to start new relationship and i got chicken-out, i mean i got scared or shall i say to much worries burst to my mind..
yeah the most thing came out is, starting over again, different people to gain and gave trust that i once have, it's hard.. it's suffocating me. i got worried with, what she's might thinking now?, will i pleased her? will we be all right? how long will we last? is i am doing right thing? did i annoyed her? what will i talked to her for coming days?
i don' t know where the hell is those kind of worries came from, but each time i want to start a new relationship it'll be like that. i guess worries that the relationship will be like i have before makes me think like that... hahaha it's a paranoid is it?
may be, if i can endure it, the new relationship will came to me? will i have guts to start over? but for sure these things have made me lost some chances hahaha.... silly me ^_^ to be such a lame person...