End Year Post

How long has it been huh? since my last post? the internet seems down lately make me feel lazy to post new posting here, plus there's nothing much happen lately, only a circulation normal day of a kimz hahaha. yes it's suppose to be 31'st of December today, it's the end of this year.. a lot of things happens trough up this year till now. Happy events, sad events... getting to know new people and lost people we know.. fell sick, injured some part of this old body.. hahaha it's all just an up and down event.. but here i am still breathing same air as u all..

did i reach my aim for the year 2008? i wonder what was it again, i really a forgetfull person, but i guess my aim must be inproving my self to be better than me in 2007.. i guess if only a bit, that aim was reached, yeah i guess i am improving a bit. ah it still 8 am in the morning, shall i go for my breakfast now? hehehe

hurm love life... no comment strictly ^_^

a lot of my friend is going to graduate soon, leaving me a missing pieces here, it's not like i want to take it slowly in these things, but i just couldn't speed up coz i don't want to get it messy, even at this rate it also still a mess, but hopefully this mess still can save me.... as a lazy person like me, trying to be creative in wrong way.. it's kind of a messed up thinking isn't it?

ahhh my weight increase again, now i'm going to become a lazy fat-ass...

good bye 2008, thanks for make me more mature in this life ^_^ thanks everybody that i met all through this year, thanks for everything~

My worn-out bball...

Ah..this is 2008's of me

hey this is 2006 photo!!!

Blabber again..

Yeah nothing to post, my ankle getting better but still got some restriction on my movement. So since got nothing to post and i suppose to rush for 2 of my assignments which 1 of it i need to do alone, so i've been thinking... what the hell i'm doing here??

urgh my mind so numb and blank nothing can really enters my mind now... i just type whatever words came to my mind... ah..it dizzy... lately i addicted back to games, which is c&c general zero hour.. ah.... i can't play red alert 2 since my lappy is below requirements..

taking japanese as my coco subjects this sem, not that hard and not that easy, just as lec say, learn by heart..

well that's all for now.. ciowzz

worn out bball.. need to get new one soon....

One Legged Devil

It's been 3 days since i injured my ankle and it's getting better now. Lately i've been to busy to updates my blog, so since this injury i took off for some class without mc's will be bad for my attendance record... well ass for my leg, i might loose my speed later, even it'll heal but surely i won't be able to do those amazing dash that always put my team advantages as we play 5 on 5 games, so thats y i always being lazy for 3 on 3 games.. ah... should i stop basketball?

My ankle warped version


unwarp version

One week recap

Haaa i should say recap for few days ler.. hurm i went back to rawang till mon morning. Snap some pic with my sis's child(Akmal and Akram) and her kittens, yeah also see her cat that scratch my nose long time ago coz i bully him, and i guess he still hate me for that. Hurm i went back rawang coz my sis and her husband need to go back to kelantan to fetch my parent since they are going to Makkah for haj, they go back and come back at the same day, must be tiring for my bro in law~ huhuhu, and during that time i have to stay at rawang and looks for the kids, house and maid coz the housing area still empty... We had family lucnh with all my bro n sis who stayed in kl, quite nice~~~ i ate a lot...huhuhuhu .... went back on monday morning and monday night force my friend sent me to kelana jaya to meet up with my parent as they were going to depart to Makkah~~ I waited there till all the thing settled whic was around 4 am hahaha went back to my bro house in pj and sleep till 7 am and go back mmu coz i got class at 2 till 6!!! till now i a bit tired but i want to write something about it..but too tired to write more detailed~~ so end up with some choronological post~ muahaha anyway here some pic i snapped when i was away....

P/s: still tired till i dunno wht i write... =,="

Sleep well(tired kena buli!! muahaha)

See so comfortable

This wan is Tommy(he really hates me)

Tommy and his partner~ Bella

These two..so naughty~~

Akram~ cute and his voice more cute but... REALLY NOTTY!!

Akmal....(Pliz stop bully the cat T,T)

Mum and dad b4 depart to Makkah, Have a save journey and take care, Insya'Allah everything will be allright ^_^

Mumble mumble mumble and blabber...

Hurm let say, if u kill or destroy special feeling inside your heart for someone, will u won't feel hurt when someone gone? I don't know for sure, but if you deny feeling in ur heart, someday it will come to situation that u can no longer be consider as human being, yeah something like robot. u won't be able to feel happy or sad. Everything is nothing inside your heart, you will feel nothing, plain feeling. There's time u will feel so lonely and depress till you feels like u ar going insane. Then if you survive that, u will become nothing, not a human or any living thing, u will be just a robot... lifeless moving flesh... but surely this case still rare, most of them stuck at going insane and end up either in mental hospital or suicide.

Let it be, why so scared of sad feeling? betrayal? it's not like you never betray anyone before... if you don't want to be betray, carefully find person that you can trust....suddenly my mind feel blank and want to erase this post, what the hell that i am thinking now.. just feels like want to write this.. yeah some ideas came up inside this head.... u might think i have some love problem hahaha not really, it just about someone that i like suddenly i know she got someone special. but i just take it easy and go have some coffee on my own to get over it. since then i feel empty feeling, and everyday try to keep my mind empty... i called it state of nothing.

p/s: i was "high" when writing this, seems like some music make me feel high hehehe~~

I am HULK???

Do some superhero test, so here's the result....

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 90% Superman 70% Batman 60% Supergirl 60% Catwoman 60% Green Lantern 50% Spider-Man 45% Robin 40% The Flash 40% Iron Man 40% Wonder Woman 20%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Mood moody and no mood~

Suddenly become a moody person.. er actually loose of mood here, hahaha yeah feels like doing nothing at all and just want to stare the sky.. Em0?? not really, just feels like doing nothing, waiting for my hair grow longer and i want to dye it white, then want to try new fashion, but at the moment just want to stare the sky. Want to serious gain back the will playing basketball but it keeps raining and fall sick, guess need to wait for sunny day. should go for jogs as it keeps raining, but no motivation, guess it just another lazy excuse being made.

in class same as before, sleepy and blank mind.. what the hell had happen to me? where the hell all of those motivation gone to?

Addiction

Hehehe yeah i am now addicted, well the story like this, since i have 1 more day before my rapidshare account expires, i searched for some anime since i don't know what to download, browsing through the forum, there is it, 76 episode of hijme no ippo, an anime about boxing, seing the comment, lots of people says it was an aspire anime and the best that they have watch so i decide to download. Gabling with the time, i manage to download it and started to watch it, here i am, in the state of addoction~~

here some rev/ synopsis about the hajime no ippo!!!! :

ppo Makunouchi is a very shy high school student who never had the time to make friends because he was always busy helping his mother with the family charter boat fishing business. Because he kept to himself, a group of bullies led by Umezawa got into the habit of picking on him. On one particular day these bullies decided to give him a rather serious beating, but a middle-weight professional boxer who was passing by stopped the bullies and took the injured Ippo to the Kamogawa Gym (鴨川ボクシングジム, Kamogawa Bokushingu Jimu), owned by retired boxer Genji Kamogawa, to treat his wounds. After Ippo awoke to the sounds of boxers training, the boxer who saved him, Mamoru Takamura, tried to cheer Ippo up by letting him vent his frustrations on a sandbag. It was then that they had their first glimpse into Ippo's talent for boxing. After that incident, Ippo started his regular training and began his path in Japan's professional boxing.

The story focuses heavily on character development, even during the matches something is learned about the fighters. Ippo and his friendly rivalry with Miyata is the main draw in the early part of the series. That later changes to Ippo's path towards the Japanese Featherweight Championship and eventually the world championship. Along the way we are given glimpses into the other side character's pasts, motivations, relationships to others and current boxing trials.

The anime series has two spin-off movies that were actually part of the manga. Champion Road, which takes place after Ippo becomes the Japanese Featherweight Champion and showcases his first defense of the title, and Kimura Vs. Mashiba, which pits one of Ippo's senpai (upper classmen) Kimura against the Japanese lightweight champion Mashiba (the brother of Ippo's love interest).

source from: Wikipedia

Ippo!!

Lately i back to court, basketball caourt since i realize i am getting too much fat, yeah it's right i should have gone to gym but i prefer doing some sport that i like, hehehe afterall it not like i want to shape my body like any atheletes. I started basketball and realize that i was not as good as before, my body limit my movement, and getting tired too fast, yeah lack of stamina and speed. i did think of some training to gain my stamina back,and so my speed.. but i worried i getting exausted at night resulting i won't be able to stay up and do other stuff at night,furthemore this is short trimested and subjects aren't not that easy, i might be suicidal for me if i mess up this time.. well i will keep go on at this pace, try to gain my speed and stamina slowly and get rid of this fat and flat tire at my stomach~~ ganbatte for me!!

Dance~~

Morning guys~~ wow i sleep late and wake up this early hahaha ok here some moves i found that might intrest u all kekeke Crip-Walk tutorial~

Well found it on youTube, so i shared it here hehehe

Lesson 1:Heel Toe.




Lesson 2: Shuffle.



Lesson 3: The V.



Another Lesson: Variation in this vids.

Love ka?

Ho ho ho, my hd still down, currently run some os from my pendrive.... well i am not going to talk about that here, hurm... yesterday when i on my way to lowyat plaza, (yeah about my hd-thinggy of course..) i saw couples, well young couple all around, they were happily walking together.. and suddenly i remember a phrase that i was being told or hear before, "Just loving is not enough"... at that time i was so oppose it, may be because i was so naive or love feeling was that strong inside my heart, then now my view changed... i answered "Yeah... it's not enough.." from that phrase i add more " Loving must came with willing to bear all things come up after that, for long, very long time.." hohoho my new statement, is it came from my coward heart again?

Seeing those lovebirds filled with love feelings make me realized something that my heart is empty... i had lost love for a very long time, i can't feels the warmth of love anymore... so all this time i only seek for girls just to have someone with me when i need,when i feel cold and empty... it's different, it's not love, i knew coz it was not the same as before, is it because i too coward to love? or my heart was already loose it's light? i don't know but i knew it's empty and i did try to get new lover,but it still the same, feeling just only longing for friendship and could not move more than that.. it hanged.. oh, is it i was not ready yet or the lights are really gone? i want to try to remember the feeling but i scared... heh.. like i said many times before..."love are really complicated" hehehehe
Oh my... i realize that my words start to portray me as an emo person
, hahaha trust me i am not that emo, my dress my style, all not emo at all, this is just what in my heart, partially revealed so it might not show all about me, yeah i need to keep some in here, inside me coz it might make certain people unhappy or hurt if i put all in here (i might get killed you know) hehehe so lets treat it as missing words...
So i did tried greyed my hair, and it's was a failure end up me shaved my whole head(i don't want to do the remake)..i did saw someone with perfect color of haired as i wanted, and she was a girl, she looks cool, hahaha i guess she have done it in saloon. well for now i gave up on grey color, and nor i will do white color, but need to wait till my hair longer a bit. Don't worry this time i will do it in a saloon, but need to survey the price first hehehehe. I saw some guys with white hair color, and i kind of like it (i mean the hair color and style, hey i'm still 100% interest with gals ok!) so want to try it up, if i was not nice on me, i will dye it pink!!! ngeheehehe
Well got some more stories, but i'll save it for next time, till then see u soon ^_^

=,="

Hard-disk window shopping

Waa nervous coz it's my first time buying a hardisk some more laptop hardisk.. Well i could hardly find the hardisk since i am still using ide-hardisk huhuhu... most available was sata type... ide ka.... haizzzzzz most people say that to me, but still found some...and the price.... huhuhuhu almost rm200 since i wan to take 160 gig, as 120 gig is around 140-150, so i prefer 160, or may be i will choose 250 gig which is the price is rm200++ hahaha see how first lor...
now, still running this machine using my pendrive which i always use to hack other people machine when i don't know their password for windows kekekeke... but i won't bee on for long time since i still doubt it's capability to run for long period of time... haah...feel so lonely without my laptop to be on 24-7... lonely...lonely.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

AaaaaaAAaaaaa Jinx still follow me!!!!

Good and bad... that's word i can say now, good part is i pass all the paper and might get new hd for my lappy, bad is.... MY HD CRASH AND ALL STUFF GONE AND CANNOT BE FIX!!! thats all for now, going out for release tension!!! T,T

What a suck journey, but here i am now, Cyberjaya!

Yeeehaaaa~~~ It was series of unfortunate events, at first i thought everything is going well, my big bro sent me to the station, i get to the bus and sit for 7-8 hours and then reach kl... but well.... i saw the bus number, its 7/6 so i ask the driver, is this bus number 7? and he say yes, ... so i go up there and find my seats, single seat hehehe so comfortable as i brought my language n a guitar with me, suddenly a man came, and ask, the seat number, guess i thought he might get on wrong bus as the seat is same with me, it bus number 6 =,="... then the driver ask for our tickets and he went to the counter... to they changed my bus to bus 15 and it's double seated =,= (wht the hell) at first i say, well it's ok, may be the bus not full, guess not... it's overloaded..(fuck~!!!) i don't know may be their management messed up the things, well i just stay shut, at least i can just arrive to kl there... so around 1 hour journey, the air-cond broke-down i guess and the buss have to stop and fix it around... tick tock tick tock, i see the clock there, we suppose to be half way already =,="" but there we were, stuck with air-cond probs... keh~ the most fucked up thing is, they did not open the door of the bus while fixing the air-cond, and it's hot and i almost suffocate (come on i at the back of the overloaded bus with no window!!) seriously need for fresh air~ huhuhu lucky they manage to fix it before i rush to the driver seat and jump from the door there keh~ =,=.. then we start our journey which i don't even dare to open my eyes, i was like '"to fast to furious" of the bus version (yeah they chasing time as we all were late) and i think that time, it would be a good unfortunate even if the bus collapse with something or fell off from a cliff isn't it? (what a fucked-up thought i have that time) but we manage to arrive to kl safely at earlier time!!??? omg wonder how they drive when i shut my eyes ( T,T) but thank god, we all safe and sound.... Alhamdullillah~~
Well it's not really that bad also, my journey... except the guy that sat beside me keep look at me at times.... i guess he try to be friendly, but my mood at that time was not that good, sorry pal, can't be friendly at that time with my burning boiling blood.. need to train my self to be more wiser and relax if this situation happen again...

Cut the story i reach station and rush to the train and stop at kl sentral for my breakfast at Mc D's.. a bit crowded and i word came to my head "Morning People" hahaha feels like want to make a song by that word, well i leave it as a thought since i don't have enough talent for making a song, at 8.45am, finally i reach cyber, safe and sound ~~~ aiya, lapar la pulak~~~

I wonder why i didn't saw any of
this sign when i'm on my way to kl???

Sem break

Waa it's has begun~~ the 3 weeks of holidays for mmu students~ and guess, i still stuck at my room ^_^, was being too lazy to go home... hostels room become empty and hallway become more quiet and gloomy, and i won't bee surprise if i run into some unknown entity wandering around, well that's better than run into those annoying guards that later will ask you lots of things =,="..
Hurm i was thinking not to go back, wanted to find some part time here n filled my pockets for few bucks (even though that won't be enough to buy my suzuki van van rv 125 T,T) at least i could write something for my job experience resume and get some connection of friends.. well it's all will be left again as a dream as i feels that mum wants me to go back home.. argh going back and see annoying lil' bro makes me feels like more not going back home... he never learn from his mistake and will never change i guess.. let him be as long as he didn't go beyond the edge with me or it'll end up with his swallow and bleeding face. Yeah i swear i'll beat his ass if he gone too far. Show me some respect i'm not just ur elder bro but i'm more than that, trust me you really don't want make me piss off...
hurm today i'll come with newer hairstyle, i'll might shave my head or cut it really short, i don't really like the color of my hair... it's golden =,= i was expected grey~~ still need to go to saloon if wanted better result...
Too tired, hunger and cold to write now, so we parted here and see another next 3 weeks, bubbye and take care everybody~~

--F Youu~!!!!--

Holiday

Enuf with the hair thinggy. Now i've finished my last paper for final exam, it mean that officially holiday for me. I don't feel like going back home, as i've just come back from there and my hair thing... uuh don't really know what should i do, wish for some part time work but, it'll be the same as before, end up doing nothing for the 3 weeks holiday..

Hurm browse through youtube, and guess.. i found some funny vids i guess, hehehe share it with you all ^_^


(Guys pliz turn off ur hp when u in cinema ok?)

Bleaching My hair....

Well first level's of bleaching is ok, but the second is suckzzzz yeah, it doesn't turn grey, hanged to golden color... does not have much changes as the first level.. may be i did it wrongly... so if you want any color other than red, gold, brownish color, i advise just go to salon ok ^_^
I post the 1st level result, second i guess should not post it... may be i'll edit this post and post it later...(edited dy)

The Product

See this is 1'st level (second level is something like this also)



Ok second level is something like this.. not much differences at all

Bleaching my hair

Yeah for some who knew me, they might say "AGAIN???" hahahaha Yeah again, but this time i want try Aqua Grey, and some new style of bleaching, which will end up fucked-up as always. Hurm this time it might get a bit expensive since i'll be using ex-hi bleach i guess then applied aqua grey colored, hopefully it will succeed. Hurm i guess again my family won't like it... i wanted to say "Who care's" (since i still upset about the bike n car incident) but i just choose to be silent as i did just like before...

Ok cut the crap (the hell if not crapping what else could i wrote??) here, i found some info about the bleach that i would use later, and again, it'll be aqua grey okayy? hohohoho here's the link: http://www.gatsby.com.my/productcat_hc_silver.asp

If it's nice i post some snapshot here, if it suck i wont mention it

Oh about hari raya? hurm i terribly ill on the first day, end up spent most of the morning on my bed, and the followed my family to go visits out relatives... well not so bad with my health, and even now still sick a bit i guess.... hope to recover soon... and no pic for hari raya...

Wht ya' loookin' at buddy??

Gabby!!!

Argh i thought i can go back peacefully now when i go look at gabby i saw ANTS!! ARGHH they attcking gabby house!! now stressed! how i can leave gabby gor a week like that!! Is it coz of gabby's food? i thought gabby's food are dried... haiz now what i'm suppose to do... =,=
I've bought gabby new home but now problem with ants...should i lock gabby back in his old home? ARGGG Wht should i do... or bring him back with me and left him with my younger brother which is definitely will be a death sentence to gabby.. urghh I HATE ANTS!!!

(No pIc la,lazy to snap)

Selamat hari raya~~~

To everyone, selamat hari raya ^_^ , i'll be going back to my hometown later, may be around 12.30 pm as what my sister said, she'll come here and i must get all my things pack up... oh must put enough food for the gerbil, 1 week i will be away and come back for finals...
I'll might not be able for posting on blog when i was home so hehehe what ever happens home it might not be stated here. Urgh still dizzy...huhuhu wish me arrive home safe and sound~~
Anyway, semalat hari raya again guys, take care ^_^~!!

urgh long way to go to reach my hometown~~

Lalalala~~

Hurm what should i say, 1 word? it's "hopeless" Can't get my self to programming mode, really down because i couldn't do the assignment. Pre-School learning system, such an easy project i thought at first, i never have any idea it will push me to end like this, totally hopeless. Event to just submit the final report, without the software, how's that suppose to be possible? No helps i am totally alone, sinking alone.. that's why i don't take groupmate this time coz i can forseen this misfortune... the death of a programmer~~

Today i start to have a thought to do the last thing, like to have the last date with someone, to have my last big mac, to have my last movies, to have my last roller coaster ride, to have my last milkshake, to have my last song, to have the last smiles,to have the last tears... gloomy shiny day for me today... even thought today have just begun... it's like a last day to begin with. Of course this is not, absolutely not a thought of dying ^_^ just to have "a last"...

Looping same song "Semua Tentang Kita" by peterpan.. i tried to empty my mind, try to arrange all things back to normal, back to the way it suppose to be.. i close my eyes as many time before i will see an exit, or a savior beam of lights that could save me from this, but this time it's all pitch black..dark and i couldn't see anything.. Like as i floating alone in the sea at night, cloudy night not even a star i could see from where i am, not even a shine.. I pray to god, what is it this time... another turn over? thanks for showing me the mistakes and thanks for giving me this chance to learn another experience... i'm not a good person but still i have faith in You, coz i always know, to You i'll be gone...

I've changed from who i was, my heart become more blind and cold... No more wise trick that i've always pull whenever i need to do it. All now just some stupid acts that inside me i can see it the chaos that might hit me because of it.. Why... why have i turn to this..... vengeful heart and cold heart...

Yeah...

Music Vs Programming

What the hell i'm doing now? i'm suppose to finish my java assignment.. well yeah it was a dead end project, i was not enough skilled with java.... no one to be blame, i tried but its all a dead end.. so i go through youtube~ hehehe found some new band and try to enjoy their music, well sorry all the band was japanese band hehehe yeah i enjoyed japanese music, J-Rock or visal-kei lately... programming vs music.... haiz what a title for today... let say music or melodic that moves my fingers to types the codes for programming so how music can go against programming?? Argh what the hell i'm mumbling here~~

Aya-Blue Butterfly

Hide

I was running through youtube... found these vids, i watch them, feels like crying... T,T

Semua Tentang Kita

Waktu terasa semakin berlalu
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama
Ceritakan semua tentang kita

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

No Comment....

Ending Of Love Contract

Well it was a great love drama, i was enjoying the drama... until final episode, i watch it... till final scene... then i was like ( =,=") wtf..... i don't get the ending till i have to go read the review about it and even search on the wikipedia.. then again i was like ( =,="") well there's might be some people enjoyed the ending, yeah it's kind a creative coz you won't even think it will end like that... but still for me... it's really... haizzz..... may be i put to much expectation on the drama... and again =,="

Love Contract...



I still can believe... the ending... T,T

One Of Songs That Touch My Soul

Hurm..... this is the first vids i got from Vivien, when i was in Melaka hahaha back to year 2005, she sent me the links and i listen to it while watch the clips, guess it makes me wanna cry~~(dem i'm such a cry baby) Well i don't know just the song is too sad and sentimental, plus my feeling that time... argh~ suddenly i found the site that have drama of this clip, so i'll be watching it with boxes of tissues... wish i wont cry, but it seems like sad drama...

Anson Hu - Waiting For You

主唱Sang by: Anson Hu {胡彦斌)

作曲Song written by : 胡彦斌

作词Lyrics by : 曾琳智

金色的舞鞋

Black dancing shoes

伴着音乐

Accompanies the music

Baby 你的眼睛

Baby your eyes

是一弯

Is a curved

深邃的湖水

Deep lake

OH 忽明忽灭

Oh suddenly bright, suddenly extinguished

掩藏不可思议的美

Hiding the inconceivable beauty

让我晕眩

Made me dizzy

在悬崖边

Hanging by the cliff

谁知一睁眼就不见

Who knows that you’d be gone after a blink?

Waiting for You

I'm Waiting for You

Waiting For You

WAITING FOR YOU

Kiss Me At Tonight

KISS ME AT THE NIGHT

为何你　Cinderella

Why did you Cinderella

留给我一望无际的思念

Left me yearning for so long

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

I'm Waiting For You

Waiting For You

Come Here To My Dream

牵着你

Holding you

不断旋转

Revolving unceasingly

一直到黑发变成了银线

Until the black turns into a silver line

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

直到永远

Until forever

It's funny...

(Special msg for special person...)
Yeah it is, unable to sleep even though i was really tired, suddenly all despair an gloominess attack my feeling.. Thinking about my love life, suddenly i realize that i can't remember me before i met her, i mean who i was.. i don't know where's those feeling that makes me all of the sudden wants to isolate myself from her, am i was her supporter..listens to her when she's down... Even i realize how much i love her, where the hell all those feeling of hates and anger came from? Seriously i don't know, are my life changed me as i grew? Why i can't listen to her anymore as i did before? Bored? I am not such person who could be bored listen to the important person to me... I don't know, as if thee feeling i want to be free, as i was a burden to her keep hurting her too much, i feels like i want to run from her so i won't hurt her anymore.. I loose confidence in myself in each arguments happened between me and her, loose my faith and those sweet feelings...
We've start to loose it right? the understand between us... this is the last solution, this is what i couldn't tell you.. it's not like i having someone else or anything like that, just this. Some lame and stupidity of mine. I don't know if this my immature feeling or thoughts, but i guess, it's like i start to loose my self. Well, that's all, i'm sorry, it's really a great time when i was with you, i guess i am no longer can listen to your voice and loosing my self and sight in my life.. i just wish you'll find someone who can stay with you forever without too much trouble as me. Take care, i will now let you go for good... Good bye ^_^

"Goodbye"

The Third Day

Everything seems to be well so far,except mmu's internet connection gets suck and even worse... Have to wait for several minutes to load some pages and sometimes timeout... feels like lazy to blogged... we've paid for our internet as they asked and they still do this to us... we're helpless.... have to grads faster....

Later destination for sahur: dunno, hostel maybe... yesterday we had pizza and buger king... today just simple food from bazar is enough..

Aah... what is this miserable feeling...

So Miserable...

Second Day....

Now it's second day for fasting for me for this year (did i use too many "for" here?).. hurm I ate around 3.45 to 4.00 am just now, simple dish, rice + sweetened soy sauce + unheated sardine. Well without transport it's difficult for me to have other dish than that since hostel foodcourt are closed during that time..(that's why i want my bike!!!) but the food quite nice, well i don't mind anymore what i ate as long as i ate something, it's not like i am a king or something keep whining about foods and those, i am a survivor, hehehe. well today i wonder what meals there for me.. will me and friends went to baazar at putrajaya there, or somewhere else?.......

why.....

Test, want to upload music but....

First day in Ramadhan

Well it's raining outside, hurm today i ate sahur around 3.00 am. The menu was, nasi goreng and tea. After subuh i sleep and now awake at 2. Wonder where shall we eat later. It's raining...it's good, so the weather wont be so hot, but if it's not raining, i'll be playing basketball later hahaha guess not because the court is wet. hahaha the assignment haven't being done... midterm tomorrow... ^_^
That's can be said half day in first day of Ramadhan for me, looking forward for another half...

And now it's 10:53's felt asleep again a while just now. So for another half nothing special, sent times on songs and online manga's till 6.10pm then went to baazar ramadhan at putrajaya, lot of nice food overthere untill i dont know what to buy, then i just bought white rice with fried spice chicken, "cincau" drinks and "dadih" which is some dairy product that look like caramel. Then ate them in hb3 foodcourt... the end~

Drain

Talk to my troubled brain
If you can feel my pain
So much hurting that's living in my head
Now I can barely breathe
And now my heart's disease
And my name and my life has been stepped
on and on' No no!

You made a fool out of me
There is no way out
I'm going down the drain

The name of God in vain
You pushed me I'm insane
Dissolution is knocking on my door
Can't stop my bitter tears
Oh take away my fears
Body and soul is blown up in pieces

Oh Cry out I want to be free
Dry out I want to know truth

Let me drain my feelings out
Lough like a drain My emotions scream
Let me drain!

So I can't speak my mind
anata sae mo blind
I am left in a land with just solitude
Has this become my fate
Who's next be your bate
Vicious cycle repeating on and on

Cry out I want be loved
Dry out I want see dreams
Oh Cry out I want to be free
Dry out I want to know truth

Let me drain my feelings out
Lough like a drain My emotions scream
Let me drain my feelings out
Lough like a drain
let me drain!

Tribute to me? WTF??

Hahaha messing around with photoshop software... Well i saw some Hideto Matsumoto tribute picture, giving me some idea to make my own tribute picture...for? somesilly jokes~ ha ha ha... Currently tryng to find some suitable photos but failed, this all the best at the current time i've got... whut do ya' think?

(Yo Ma'Faka~ I'm still livin, whut tht 29 Aug for?? =,=")

Is it a dream?

Wtf..last night have a weird dream that i can recall it 100% when i wake up.... is it a dream? it's too real and the pain too real... i guess it might be a sign....

Mumble and mumble and mumble

yeah i am back again, mumbling about stuff. Hurm first thing it MMU IT fees, 100 per year, huh, i still don't get it, what is it at all.. what they want to charge us for 100 per year? internet bills? Upgrade? it doesn't seems so.....
next, why the hell i'm become this lazy~!! arghhhh getting tired of study even getting lazy to class, feels sleepy and sometimes i slept in class... for this trimester i took 3 subjects, data comn, object oriented programming and prob and stats, and what i am really worried now is prob and stats, it's really suck and i didn't get anything about it.... (T,T) SOMEBODY SAVE MEEE~!!!
next~ flu~~ argh suddenly i got running nose~!! to me: get well soon, don't felt sick you know how worse when u felt sick rite??
next after next? ARGHHH what the hell i'm doin now~!! BLURR

You~ Yeah YOU~!!

Red Dress

Hurm it's been a while since my last posting, hehehe here some songs that i believe have a deep meaning to me long2 time ago, it's ll about the lyrics heheehe



artist: Monkey Majik
album/single: Picture Perfect
release: 2007.2.7

The girl with the red dress,
She is standing just to confess,
Has and eye for fancy things,
He buys her diamond rings.
With high heels, just walking,
She has got everyone talking
About who is next in line,
To take her out, and dine.

She knows how it feels,
She makes all the world turn for her,
She knows, ooh! I know.
And he knows how it feels,
Not on his own, he is chasing at her,
He knows, ooh! Everyone knows.

"I love her, oh! I love her, I love her."

Spending everyday outside her doorway,
The light goes out, the window is open,
I hear her sleeping
The ground below me never moves,
I'm stuck right here.
Wishing she would fly out with a rope,
To pull me near.

She don't know how I feel,
I would give up all my kingdom for her,
I know, ooh! I know.
She knows how it feels,
She makes all the world turn for her,
She knows, ooh! I know.

Oh! I love her, I love her.
Looking at your window with the curtain slightly
Open there is mirror.
And in that mirror I see a reflection
Of a cloth that is satin red.
Black car in the driveway, how does it feel?
I don't know.
A penguin with a bouquet, what does it mean?
I think I know.

He loves her? Yeah he loves her,
And she loves him! And I lost her.
Oh no!

A Thing That I Want...Can Get It But Wont Get It...

Wow such a long title there.. Hahaha yeah it's about the bike again, feeling down huhuhu i really want the bike!!! It's multi purpose bike and i am type once a while need to go out to calm my stress alone... no transport so i stuck up in here... huhuhu sad.... my mum wont let me ride on bike anymore since my lil bro incident... i not a good child but i really not type going to ignore her... it's just a bike, not the same bike as my lil bro ride, it's not rempit bike, it's more safe and my riding is not like him..these i want to tell my mum but i couldn't say it out.... looking the way my mum now i dare not to say what i want... let it just be another dreams for me... buried deep down inside...

Suzuki Van Van RV125

Huhuhu this is my dream bike~~ huhuhu since my license limit me up to 250cc so this bike is one of my choice, and i really want it because it's simple, and retro look ^_^ kekeke .... but.. since i wont get this bike (due to some reason) i just write it here..

RV 125 Van Van 2004
Overall Length: 2 140 mm (84.3 in)
Overall Width: 860 mm (33.9 in)
Overall Height: 1 120 mm (44.1 in)
Seat Height: 770 mm (30.3 in)
Ground Clearance: 215 mm (8.5 in)
Wheelbase: 1 385 mm (54.5 in)
Dry Weight: 117 kg (257 lbs)
Engine type: Air-cooled 124,5 cc single cylinder, SOHC, 2 valves. 12 hp (8,83 kW)/ 9,500 rpm, 10 Nm (1,0 kg-m)/ 7,700 rpm.

Emo again Dammit~!!

Have you ever feels like you are alone in this world? it's not in the case of friendship but alone in case of the closest person?
Of course i am not talking about friendship, because friendship have lots of values or meaning and you can have lot of friends and some of them might only be your friend when u meet eye to eye, or you every where you are, that friend will still contact you as that friend is always around you. I am talking about much more closer relationship.. am i being too cruel too my self? I felt like i don't have anybody as i am nobody.. it's like i am just a single audience, witness every people happiness around me and as i seek my own smile or a glance of happiness, often i'll fell deep down crushed in my nightmares.. I have nothing to complaint as my self is really idiot for these kind of things...
Yeah i am angered with my own self, too selfish of everything and being laze to change even though i knew it from the begin that it's all my fault.. now when i start to freeze my heart i realize all of this. it's now no turning back, i'll be on my own, if this only thing that can make me feel better.. i'm sorry everybody.. this is me, i can't no more live my life with this mask... i am tired.....

Which one is my real face?

Darkness And Soul

so now i can't even express my feeling too? fine then....

Yes Seriously I am

Sad Sad And Sad

Hi, I just came back from home, yeah, i visit my lil bro in hospital, thank god his condition better now, still i am sad looking the way he is now, laying on bed, whenever he try to say something,...it's really make me sad. I hope he recover soon. I met mum and dad, and i can see how tired and worries in their eyes....it make me sad... and also my mum wont let me have a bike since she worried that i might became like my lil bro...also make me sad.. 3 level of deep sadness (bike part just feeling down la~~ but see my lil bro like that... mum and dad worries make me much more sad...)

Right know i don't know how i feel, it's just felt empty, and i holding my self to think much. My lil bro injury was at his left arms and stomach. Stomach part is serious, internal injury... but he's recovering... it'll took a while for him to be out of bed.... right now or as usual i can't say much.. well it's not like i don't care, just keep it in here, as you know i not good at sharing feeling~~ some people might think i just a robot huhuhuhu

Ah~ what kind of feeling is this.... it feel like i want to lay down and just stares the skies for hours...doing nothing but just staring the skies and clouds... may be i need some meditation....

Speechless Thoughtless Restless

Pieces Of Heart

I don't know either my life is a mess or what, I'm getting more and more tired of all this. To her, enough with your childish thing, you make me hates you more. Just let me free, it's not only you that make my life so gloomy now, it's better for you to go find new light in your life. If you want to revenge me, just let me be, i will sunk my self soon..

Tomorrow i will have to rush back to my hometown, my lil bro' are still in ICU for few days, he hit by car, well i guess it's him hit the car, i talked to mum on the phone, i can feel her worries. I hope he's getting better, that's why i have to go back and to see him.

well everything in my head now in a mess, i try to smile, i will try to keep on smile, coz i believe my gloomy face will bring disaster..

Emo Version, A Song For Her

X Japan - Art Of Life


Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you

Can't go backNo place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me


I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself
lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me


Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within"
All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,and Yourself"


I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love


Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?


I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying


........


~~~~~~this song still long, partly posted here~~~~~

Hide's guitar part really cool in this song!

LEMONed I Scream

One day, I was walkin' down the streets
Looking for anything, Any surprise
Feel like a treasure game on a rainy day
Then it happened suddenlyI saw, I saw
And there it was fallin' down into my feet
Then, you know,
it had something spiney head,
And I was gonna touch it
Then I got the pain,
My fingers painted in blood,
but I feel so fine
Nobody could find out,but I knew,
I saw.I don't care.
If nobody can love it, oh yeah

Because Ah hahahaha
I've got a feelin' in my hand
It's a lemon lemoned I scream !

One day, I was walkin' the street,
Lookin' for the music , any surprise.
Then it happened suddenly
I hear, I hear
I don't care.
Everybody so Hate it,
Hate it

Because Ah hahaha
I've got a sweet poison cake,
gonna be high
Take me higher higher
I've got a sweer creature song,
It's a lemon, lemon lemon & I scream
I've got a sweet broken hearted machine
but I like it, like it
Oh, what a sweet monster people
It's a lemon, lemon, lemoned I scream !

Lyrics&Song: Hide

Sky Fortress

Higher Than Trees Below The Clouds

I moved to new room, from 1st floor to 4th floor, hehehe. Yeah i called it sky fortress since it was the toppest floor for the hostel building in my block, and when i'm there, it's feels like i dont want to go out and it feels so good, calmn and relaxing~ hahaha it's quite quiet and it makes me stop from playing games on my pc~ huhuhu

Demn it's high, i love this sky fortress~~

My hostel.. yeah it's up there..

Fuck The Life

A Word Before I Become "Sot Sot"

Hahaha yeah~ rite well for this few days,i' felt like getting tired living as the way i am, exacly like i am tired of this world, is this some kind of melancholic depression? may be, i don't know what is stress anymore, i guess i have too much stress till my whole life is actually a stress, and despair~ huhuhu

well my other world is up~ thanks to my friend, who create a world for me,to spent and release my bored of this life~~ huhuhu

here some snapshot of my other world:

My world (using female character so feels like me assisting a girl )Am i such a looser?

The woods~~ welcome to the world

Just where the hell am I??