Dear all,
It's been a while. Lately there's a lot of things happen in my life, well each time i wrote, there's lot of things happens.. so what am i going to blabber now?
Well all these time, all i can say, i am depressed.. I thought of everything around me is lost, one by one, leaving me behind. I don't know when these begins, i just kept all things inside, soon i forgot those things that i kept inside but the stress and depression remains.. In the end, i came in to realizing that what make me sad? What make me depressed? What took my smile from me?? And i start to blame everything around me, pushing everything away from me. And slowly i start to giving up and let my self drown in piling up stress..
It take a while, and i feel so cold, bitter and my heart is freezing.... and at night sometimes i wake and my hands and feet are cold... and i suspected i cry a lot in sleeping sometimes because in the morning when i awake i feel my eyes, like there's tears...
My head won't stop thinking, thinking about everything and everyone. Thinking about past and present, and i feel like i lost everything. For quite sometimes i start to tell my self, "you not loosing anything because you never owned anything, you got nothing to be lost".
Well it just me, i not used to share to people by talking to people, i wan't to do so and most of time i end up misunderstood or lost in the middle of talking. So kept it inside, everything...
So i let my self sulking... as the time pass, i realize what thing that i really lost....
"ME" i lost my own self, i lost the way i use to be, the me that do things my own way, me that always ride along the time, me who much more wiser then the me now... i lost a lot of "me" and i know i even forget that "me" some of them, i forgot who they are.... i wonder if i can learn back to be that me again?
the thought i have now, may gone soon, i wonder is there a way for me to remain having this thought, i feel calm..
who am i?
thank you
