Hide's Memorial day

Yesterday was Hide's memorial day, all his fans will gather in japan for his memorial day and they will having summit on 3-4 may for him. Yeah it's been 10 years since he pass away, but his music still keep on living in our heart. I start to like guitar since listen to his music, he is really awesome, when he plays along with X-Japan, all i can say, they are real legend... here some tribute vid that being made by his fan... Hide,your music will be with us,keep on living with us..

Empty

Hmm not sure what i am suppose to write but still i want to write it out..expressing my feeling. Breaking up my relationship makes me feel empty, each time seeing people around,couples around somehow trigger my jealousy or should i say, "i want to be like them" feeling, but when i was having relationship, it is not like it, it's more to not the way i wanted it to be, i somehow tried to cope with it but still, my limitation always came to the end.. I guess it is my fault that can't really accept the way she act, yeah it's too rude and i don't like the way she treated me when she piss off, it's like she never think of me... Then we can pretend that nothing happen on the other day, but inside me it still hurt..hmmh i guess i am too sensitive.. well it's all never mind now, let it end, afterall our problem is not that simple.. i want her to seek happiness rather suffer with my attitude.
Now, let me set my new goals, well should i continue my principle before all this start? surely the wound might disturb me but i have to bear it...all i know i not really ready for relationship from the way i feel now... i guess i am just a coward..

さようなら、リンリン－－。

さようなら、リンリン－－。唯一の「日本のパンダ」として親しまれていた上野動物園のジャイアントパンダ、リンリン（雄、２２歳７カ月）が３０日、高齢のためこの世を去った。日中友好の「親善大使」として２頭が上野に来園してから３７年目。かつて最大で５頭がいた上野動物園から、ついにパンダの姿が消えた。大型連休で訪れた子どもたちは寂しさを抑えながら「ありがとう」と冥福を祈った。【酒井祥宏、市川明代、神澤龍二】

　上野動物園によると、世界で登録されている雄のジャイアントパンダ１０４頭の中で５番目に高齢だった。０５年にパートナーのシュアンシュアンがメキシコに帰国してからは１頭で飼育されていた。

　小宮輝之園長は記者会見で「（メキシコへの渡航など）世界で一番飛行機に乗ったジャイアントパンダではないか。苦労をかけた。苦しんだ様子はなく安らかだった。冥福を祈りたい」と話した。解剖の結果、腹には３７リットルの水がたまっており、橋崎文隆・動物病院係長は「よく持ちこたえてくれた」と話した。

　００年から７年間、飼育を担当した元飼育員、佐川義明さん（６１）は「おとなしいけど人懐っこく、子どもたちに人気があった。年齢とともに気弱になり、元気がなくなっていった」と振り返る。一番の思い出は、０１年に人工授精のためメキシコに行ったこと。おりの中で不安そうにウロウロする姿が今も目に浮かぶという。最後に姿を見たのは３日前。食欲がないと聞いていたため、様子を見に行くと、やつれた姿が目に止まった。「大丈夫か？」。声をかけてもこちらは向かなかった。「覚悟は出来ていたが、もっと生きて欲しかった」と残念がった。

　リンリンのパンダ舎前には３０日朝、死んだことを知らせる看板が立てかけられ、リンリンを見に訪れた家族連れらが足を止め、がっかりした表情を見せた。おりの中にはリンリンの遺影とともに花やササがささげられ、献花台も設けられた。

　パンダ舎前で両手を合わせていた埼玉県川口市の小学校１年、猿田創一郎（６）君は「体調が悪いのを新聞で見て、元気になってほしいと思っていたのに、かわいそう」と表情を曇らせた。長野県上田市から家族４人で訪れた武舎美沙子さん（３０）は「パンダが見られるかなと思って来たら亡くなって残念」と話し、二男玲人ちゃん（２）も「パンダが大好きだったのに」と悲しそうに話した。

　リンリンが死んだため、国内でジャイアントパンダを飼育しているのは神戸市立王子動物園（２頭）と和歌山県白浜町のアドベンチャーワールド（６頭）の２カ所だけになった。

1979

shakedown 1979,cool kids never have the time
on a live wire right up off the street
you and i should meet

june bug skipping like a stone
with the headlights pointed at the dawn
we were sure we'd never see an end to it all

and i don't even care to shake these zipper blues
and we don't know
just where our bones will rest
to dust i guess
forgotten and absorbed into the earth below

double cross the vacant and the bored
they're not sure just what we have in the store
morphine city slippin dues down to see
that we don't even care as restless as we are

we feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts
and poured cement, lamented and assured
to the lights and towns below
faster than the speed of sound

faster than we thought we'd go, beneath the sound of hope
justine never knew the rules,
hung down with the freaks and the ghouls
no apologies ever need be made, i know you better than you fake it

to see that we don't care to shake these zipper blues
and we don't know just where our bones will rest
to dust i guess
forgotten and absorbed into the earth below
the street heats the urgency of sound
as you can see there's no one around





**lately stuck to this song.. it's really cool song ^_^

It's all not going to be the same

I have watch X japan's 2008's concert, well they're great but it's seems like missing something... yeah, hide's part... no one could ever play as well as him. Yes they have sugizo to play along in some of the songs, I,V is quite nice song well still if they play their old song, without hide, it wont be the same. Anyway, others X's members are still awesome as they were. Congratulation's X-Japan, I'm looking forward for next concert~!!

Emo...

Until now I am fighting. What I am fighting for?. I have lost the feeling to keep on moving forward. I have lost enthusiasm for the living. I have forgotten the feeling to keep on moving forward. I let my self drifted away in this flow. I just pretending I am strong just because I wanted people around me can hold onto me as they loose their balance. I want to support them. But the truth I cannot event support my self. I am lost. I am drifted away. I am weak.. No matter how much i try to stand, it just I don't have enough energy. My body is like an empty vessel. Soul-less. I can't share my pain, worries, and all sad things with people around me. Each time I try,, either I being ignored or it creates misunderstand. The worse part they got what I mean but they wanted to forcefully settle it without really matter about me, till I can't be honest with them... I writing here, it's not because I wanted to hear from you,but I just wanted you to hear me. My soul is no more here.. but I promised I try to keep it up as my soul is here...till one day i will begone to the eternal place.. I will keep on living until that day comes..

Melodic that have been forgotten

Argh, I am not satisfied at all for what happened around me now. It's like most of unfortunate thing comes in my way each time i take a step forward. It makes me pushed back 3 step behind. I need a change but same goes as i try to change it become worser. I cant really recall my old thought, my way of thinking as i lost, completely lost my self now. I don't know anything now. Yesterday during mid-term test, i can feel how rusty my brain is... need some work out on it.. Is it because of environment that i'm living in now? or is it because my tiredness of this life? Emo~~ huhuhuhu unstable emotional that make me think all these think. Owh how much i wish for 1 day to settle down all these thing,and recall my melodic that have been forgotten... warm,sweet and sharp melodic...(wth, sharp??)