Yeah i seems to be fine right? listen to songs, online... watch series and movies... and blogging... heh... laughing around...
i don't expect to feel hurt like this, i guess i've been putting too much feeling where i shouldn't do so.. well what else can you expect with me, i wont be with a girl if i don't have the feeling... heh heh to be ready to love also mean to be ready to be hurt. I knew such ending but i still go on with it, well that's me.
it's really hurt when sometimes my mind flashes memory about her, well for sure i was like =_=" what the hell when it came to my head all so sudden like that, heh, well i try to overcome it by doing something just to divert my mind, well i couldn't always been running away just like that rite? so this is what i'm doing now, express it.
did i blame her? hahaha why should i, i want to love her, even thou she not love me, well i was like thankful enough to her for letting me love her for at least for the short time. Phew sounds like i'm really pathetic, hahaha well think again, may be i am..ceh who cares, i will love who ever i wants~~ :p
well i never longing for her to love me back thou, in fact i'm kind of grateful now she finally with someone that she can be with.. well i'm not hurt coz she's with someone she want to be with, i actually hurt coz i missing her so much. I've been "disappear" my self from her not coz i hate to see her, but i'm scared i will miss her more, so now at least i just thinking of her and get over with it, that's all.
well i did thinking what if she suddenly appear if front of me? just thinking of it, my whole body feel weak and i guess i couldn't be standing of my feet, i might crumble there in front of her. so avoiding her is the best thing for me to do now. yeah i'm such a coward. my emotion is really weak, hahahaha.
well it's such a crazy thing i can love a person with just short time like that, hahaha my heart too soft.. well i guess my heart too lonely that's why i easily accept her. but i'm glad at least we still have our sweet memories together ^^
i've been hurt coz i missing her..hahahaha but it's ok, i'll become more stronger, and i wish one day my heart will be dead just like that so i wont be hurt anymore ^^
that's all, thank you
H.A
