Dear blog..
I can't sleep, this feeling driving me insane.. yes i'm at the edge of sanity... might fall into insanity. I don't know why, my heart can't calm down, keep beating fast, and faster and faster, not sense of excitement, but beat with painful feeling, feeling of emptiness.. I keep listen to songs and going through the lyrics, trying hard to kills the feeling along the lyrics, but it doen't seems to be working..
Pain..empty and some feelings that i can't explain. What i did before now backfiring me, each of those feeling now backfired me merciless.. pain... empty... it suppose to kill my feeling, not to drive me to insanity. So i tried to close my eyes and imagine that i met her at this time, but... it's wont be the same, coz if she in front of me, it'll be different person, not that person who was with me... the person who was with me only now lives in my memory.. the person there infront of me just person who would have the same looks but without the feeling, and i might just stare her with cold eyes.... and inside me will be shouting to me, that's not her, not the same person as she was....
the person is gone... she's not there anymore, she's now only exist in my memory that i try to forget, the feeling that i try to forget.... why the fuck all the things turn this way?? wht the fuck!!! arghhhh.......shit this really drive me crazy.. i mean it..... i don't know how long i will be like this or how long i can stand this..... never been like this before... fuck....... i dont want her back.. i knew she don't want to be with me, that's why i doing all these.. but i miss those times... demmmitt!!! Arghhh!!!!!!
That's all..thank you...
Heh...
H.A
